What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Flopping Aces

by Larry Brandes

Bizarre news out of Lexington, Virginia; Washington and Lee University may finally change its name. Actually, the goofballs sitting on the school’s board of trustees may eradicate both of those hallowed names and substitute something more woke. I have a few suggestions. How about “AOC University?” (Bartending for idiots could be an AP course) “Donna Brazile University?” (where you get all the answers to the tests ahead of time) “Clinton & Clinton University?” The Latin inscription on the seal would read Quid enim interest in hac parte, ut non ea (What difference at this point does it make?) At half-time during football games, the marching band could perform “Devil With the Blue Dress On.” That would be a real crowd pleaser. “Fauci University,” has a nice ring to it. (Where the science is fuzzy, gain of function is embraced and lying like a rug is encouraged) All students would be required to buy his new book and learn to speak Chinese.

Actually, the trustees are really on to something. Washington and Lee are so “old school.” Washington was the father of our country who risked his life fighting the British for our independence. Big deal-that was so last week. Lee was a soldier who risked his life in battle for his beloved state of Virginia. Prior to the Civil War, Lee was offered command of a 100,000 man Union army which he declined. He replied, “Save in the defense of my native state, I never desire again to draw my sword.” Virginia debated going to war and then pondered, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Virginia “let slip the dogs of war,” and then begged Lee to lead their army into battle.

During multiple campaigns, when his troops were outnumbered, starving and barefoot from lack of supplies, Lee stood tall and honored his commitment to his beloved state of Virginia. There was no quit in Lee. Four years later at Appomattox Courthouse, Lee sheathed his sword forever. Somewhere down the line, Virginia suffered a terminal case of amnesia and forgot Lee’s sacrifices on battlefields on their behalf. When queried about the oversight, Virginia replied, “Who cares? That was like a zillion years ago, dude.” Virginia recently took disrespect to a whole new level. They further tarnished Lee’s memory by yanking his statue from the U.S. Capital. Apparently, being a hero has a shelf life – who knew? You’ve got to love Nancy Pelosi. She heard the news about Lee’s eviction, clapped her hands and cackled that removal of the Lee statue was “welcome news.” (I would say just wait until you leave Nancy and watch our reaction, but that would be snarky.)

Apparently today, real heroes play basketball, football and baseball. They deserve our unwavering admiration and should be revered for just being. We are so fortunate to have them in our bleak and empty lives. Forget the brave, underpaid, military men and women who keep us safe in Godforsaken, dangerous, countries scattered around the world. Give me the over-paid, pampered NBA superstar lecturing me on woke culture, critical race theory and the wonders of China. I can’t get enough of them droning on and on, ad nauseam. I could easily spend ten seconds or less listening to pundits on TV accuse me of being a horrible human being because of my skin color, belief in God and faith in this amazing country.

Just a thought from right field. Don’t change the name of Washington & Lee University. Both of those men were icons in American history and need to be remembered for their accomplishments. You don’t change history because you don’t like it. History is history. Love it or hate it – it is what it is. Good things happened and bad things happened. Ripping down statues is folly and says to the world, “Hey, we’re really stupid and actually believe that vandalism will change what transpired 200 years ago.” Learn from history. Don’t repeat the mistakes of the past, but endeavor to do better and help this nation become great again. Boldly speak the truth and strive for excellence. Do not go to the dark side. A great philosopher Yoda once said, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Don’t be a hater.

Maybe, someday you can attend Washington & Lee University and personally thank the board of trustees for not hating the giants of the past.