Recovered images from Hillary emails prove it was only yoga

The People’s Cube
While the Federal Bureau of Investigations is still at a loss regarding the content of Hillary Clinton’s e-mail cache from her days as secretary of state, one thing they have determined beyond a shadow of a doubt is that the Democratic presidential frontrunner is a diligent distance-education yoga student.

Hillary_Yoga_Instructor.jpg
Emailing yoga routines are standard practice in distance education, said Mrs. Clinton’s online yoga instructor Maha Bharata through an interpreter. He claims that over the years he has sent her over two hundred thousand Hindu-language emails with pictures of yoga poses, which constitutes 90% of the data that had been wiped clean from Clinton’s personal server.

Dear Abby

via e-mail

Dear Abby, 

 My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning,
and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse,
everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.
Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one.
All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and
shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.
What should I do? 

 

Signed: Clueless  

 

  

 

 

Dear Clueless: 

 

Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman!  You don’t need him anymore!
You’re running for President of the United States. 

 

Act like one.

From the World of Sports

In a news conference, Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers football team next season.

   Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be the starting QB because she had spent 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers – even though she has actually never played football at any level from grade school up, never ran the offense of any team, nor ever played the game.

   During this period of time, she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, the nickel package, man-to-man coverage, so she is now completely comfortable with all the other terminology involving the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows 50% of those polled supported the move.

   Does this sound idiotic and unbelievable … or familiar to you?

   Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be the President of the United States and 50% of Democrats polled agree.

   She has never run a city, county, or state during her “career” as being Bill Clinton’s wife. When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the White House, my immediate thought was, “So does the pastry chef, and the person who picks up dog shit from the White House Lawn”

   When it comes to running the State Department, her biggest achievement was a US Ambassador and 3 other Americans killed, by pretending terrorism had been defeated…..Her words still echo…“what difference does it make”

   Comment:  At least Deanna Favre is pretty !

Two coffees in Heaven

Socialism is Not the Answer

via e-mail

 

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, (on a one day pass)

Barack Obama meets a man with a beard.

‘Are you Mohammed?’ he asks.

‘No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohammed is higher up.’

Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter,

Obama climbs the ladder in great strides,

climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room

where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, ‘Are you Mohammed?’

‘Why no,’ he answers, ‘I am Moses;

Mohammed

is higher still.’

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy

he climbs the ladder yet again.

He discovers a larger room where he meets an

angelic looking man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again,

‘Are you Mohammed?’

‘No,
I am Jesus, the Christ;

you will find Mohammed higher up.’

Mohammed higher than Jesus!

Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his

delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.

Once again, he reaches an even larger room

where he meets this truly magnificent looking man

with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question:

‘Are you Mohammed?’ he gasps as he is by now,

totally out of breath from all his climbing.

‘No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega,

but you look exhausted.

Would you like a cup of coffee?’

Obama says, ‘Yes please!’

As God looks behind him, he claps his hands

and yells out: “Yo, Mohammed, two coffees!”

 

Keep your trust in God;

your president is an idiot.

Awesome: Man Describes What 2017 Will Look Like When Obama Is No Longer President

Conservative Tribune

Are you longing for Friday, Jan. 20, 2017 — Inauguration Day?

Do you spend more time than you should thinking about what life will be like after President Barack Obama?

Me too. And we’re not alone.

Our friends at Young Conservatives shared this story about an old man in late January, 2017

At any rate, here’s what they said:

One sunny day in January, 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine looks at the man and says, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man says, “Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine again tells the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanks him and again walks away.

On the third day, the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says,“Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.” The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”

That makes me smile no matter how many times I read it.