Crisis at the Canadian Border – A Prescient Look at the Consequences of a Republican Win in November

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Free Republic

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republican Presidential primary campaign is prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to conservative ideas about the Constitution.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

“I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.

 

“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbara Streisand c.d.’s, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

6 thoughts on “Crisis at the Canadian Border – A Prescient Look at the Consequences of a Republican Win in November

  1. Pingback: Humor | Crisis at the Canadian Border |

  2. Hey, I hope everything with Jeffrey is going ok. I’m finally taking my doctors advice and applying for disability thru the supposed best firm in Tennessee. Dale Buchanan & Associates. Robin is now the financial provider, hates her job as a customer relations rep. She is now looking for a bookkeeping job for better pay and has an interview this weekend at a marina for such a position. Brian has helped tremendously by working overtime, 7 days a week for 2 months in order to pay off the mortgage on the house. He has and is a huge blessing beyond what I expected of my ability as a father- what you taught me. Between food, power, natural gas, water, vehicle gas and insurance, and doctor visit and meds it’s just too much. I’m applying for food stamps, welfare, and any other assistance I can qualify for. I’m also going through all my tools to see what I can sell. Won’t sell my guns though. I also have a few performance issues I can deal with. Please save a few prayers for us. Also, I’ve left some poignant comments on the site and I hope that will not cause you grief, besides I seem to be ignored anyway. I just don’t want you to have any backlash. If so please tell me. Mitch, Jeff and I are planning a hunting trip to a cabin in Georgia that Jeffs extended family owns and that he can use anytime. We would appreciate it if you could come. I have a good rifle you can use. I also have hunting equipment you can use- camo clothing and orange vests. At least think about it. I miss being able for us to at least hang out. Tell everyone I said hi

    On Thu, Apr 28, 2016 at 3:24 AM, Socialism is not the Answer wrote:

    > 1dragon posted: ” Free Republic The flood of American liberals sneaking > across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking > calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republican > Presidential primary campaign is prompting an” >

    • Things are okay here. Took a trip to Destin last week and I say a TR4, a TR6 and an Austin Healey 3000. Will show photos later.

  3. Very good satire. Have seen similar posts, but like this one best.

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